How to Strengthen Presence, Project Authority, and Influence Outcomes.
I wrote Breaking into the Boys’ Club to empower women to navigate the corporate world with confidence, and in Chapter 1, “Deliver the Right Message,” I delve into the communication challenges women often face. I’ve seen how traits like being a good listener, inclusive, or detail-oriented — qualities we often pride ourselves on — can be misinterpreted in professional settings as passivity, indecisiveness, or a lack of strategic vision.
For example, our tendency to build deep relationships through longer conversations can unintentionally limit the size of our networks, while men often benefit from broader, less time-intensive connections. This is where women’s leadership communication strategies play a pivotal role. By being intentional about how we show up and speak up, women can transform perceptions and gain the influence they deserve.
Why Communication is a Catch-22 for Women
Have you ever been complimented for being a good listener? Or told that you have the knack of including everyone’s opinions and thoughts in a group setting? While you may think of these traits as positives — and in many situations they are — they don’t necessarily translate that way to the corporate world. The chart below lists a number of characteristics of women’s communication that are in the “catch-22” category.
| Women’s Traits | May be Interpreted this Way |
|---|---|
| Women are good listeners. | Many men perceive this as passive. |
| Women politely let others speak first. | Women are not seen as real participants. |
| Women raise their voices in meetings to be “heard.” | Women are often told their style is too aggressive. |
| Women tend to solicit others’ opinions and get feedback. | Many men see this as a form of indecisiveness. |
| Women are “relationship developers.” | Women’s deep conversations are viewed as a waste of time. |
| Women are serious about their work. | Women can be seen as lacking a sense of humor. |
| Women use body language and facial expressions to encourage speakers. | Women’s behavior can be misinterpreted as agreement. |
| Women show sensitivity in their language and management behaviors. | Women can be seen as soft and emotional. |
| Women give detailed reports. | Many men see women’s reporting as rambling. |
These misinterpretations highlight why developing effective communication strategies for women leaders is essential. By reframing how we engage, women can turn natural strengths into tools of authority and impact.
Relationships
Women take relationship building seriously by establishing meaningful connections through significant and lengthy conversations. If we don’t have what we consider a substantive conversation with an individual, we may not feel satisfied with the interaction. Why is this problematic? Longer conversations slow women down in today’s fast-paced business climate, and, as a result, we often have smaller, closed networks. In contrast, men, who spend less time in conversation, tend to have large networks, which benefits them by giving them more diverse and wide-ranging information. They achieve this by maintaining numerous relationships through various points of contact — clubs, professional and civic organizations, and so on.
Listening
Women are perceived as better listeners than are men, and while this can be an asset, it is often viewed as a weakness by men in a meeting situation. It makes the woman appear tentative, passive, and without a strong opinion on what is being discussed.
Assertiveness
Behavior that is routinely considered “appropriately assertive” in men can be seen as “unpleasantly aggressive” in women. The answer is for women to be assertive, not aggressive. It’s a matter of degree and is determined by tone of voice, level of voice, and attitude. Because it’s such a subtle difference between the two, women should be mindful of the distinction.
Some of the cardinal rules of “assertive communication include never challenging the leader of the group in public, never embarrassing anyone, and never personally attacking someone.
Tip: Jump In
When in a meeting or conversation, jump into the discussion early to ensure you are a part of the dialogue, or you may feel awkward later on. Take advantage of your good listening skills and sieve on something you’ve just heard, formulate your thoughts quickly, and respond. You’ll be seen as an involved and thoughtful member of the group.
Turning Strengths into Strategic Influence
Reflecting on my work in this chapter, I’m reminded of how critical it is for women to understand the nuances of corporate communication and adapt without losing their authentic selves. I’ve seen firsthand how women can transform perceptions by speaking early, framing their ideas strategically, and leading with confidence. My goal is to equip women with the tools to break through the barriers of the “boys’ club” and ensure their voices shape the conversation. By balancing our natural strengths with the assertiveness and strategic focus the corporate world demands, we can build credibility and influence in any room.
Claim Your Voice, Claim Your Leadership
Let’s start a conversation — reach out if you’re ready to strengthen your voice and leadership impact.
Breaking into the Boys’ Club
Take charge of your presence in the workplace. Try one strategy from this chapter — whether it’s speaking up early in a meeting or tying your ideas to the company’s broader vision — and notice how it shifts the way others perceive you. I encourage you to reflect on your communication style, ask for feedback from trusted colleagues, and commit to refining your approach to exude confidence and authority. For more insights to fuel your career journey, explore the rest of Breaking into the Boys’ Club. Your voice matters, and it’s time to make it heard.
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